Teleios

I pray for clarity, for purpose and direction, for accomplishment or success.  I am restless for change.  But, when I finally see a glimpse of that promised land in the distance, I break free and run ahead--losing sight of who it was that aligned the stars, worked out the nuances and made it all possible.

Dressed in new clothes of pride, control and fulfillment, my mind fills with whispers of doubt. Lies that tell me I am going to fail, that I am not good enough.  And, by not good enough, I mean not perfect.  And, while I am listening to those whispers, I miss the truth.

The truth that I don't have to know how things will turn out, or how to do everything right now. I can enjoy right now, knowing that perfection is not a state of being, but a process of growing. It is a lot like a like a scavenger hunt--each clue unfolding new direction and depth. The Greek word for perfect is actually teleios, or a path of growth and maturation through discipleship...the completion of which will never be achieved on this side of heaven.

The truth that promised land moments aren't perfect, either. They come with struggles, hard choices, sacrifices and (as I am figuring out now) finding new balance. And, letting go of the control or the expectation of perfection makes room for gratitude--for new opportunities, new relationships, new perspectives, new chances to grow and learn...or make a difference.

And, above all, gratitude for a loving, encouraging, supportive partner who has made this all possible.

Who made missing Owen's last day of preschool a little less painful, knowing he was there.

Gratitude for their special time together:

Last night, Nora cried out in her sleep.  When I scooped her up in my arms, I felt her body instantly surrender and her breathing start to calm.  Such a pure and complete trust.  A reminder that we, too, are held in the most loving, caring arms of all---shaping the peaks and valleys for our unique path towards teleios.  No prizes for shortcuts or expectation of perfection; just an open heart to learn and love.