Ok, so I thought I could get past Valentine's Day without having anything to say on the subject of love. I happen to believe Valentine's Day is made up and taken way too seriously. But, I am always a fan of taking time to tell people we love them or make them feel special. So I have a kind of love/hate thing with the holiday. As I heard on a TV show recently, "if it were a real holiday, the post office would be closed!"
Mark always finds great cards and this year was no exception:
"Love Notes Over Time"
He reminded me that even though our love has changed over the years, the message of love and commitment is still the same. In fact, there is something very comforting about the realization that we are no longer the people we were when we started dating, got married, became parents...and that through all of that, we still choose each other.Dating: "I am so hot for you"Newlyweds: "Meet me tonight for a big surprise"Married 5 years: "Have a great day, sweetheart"Married 10 years+: "Pick up some toilet paper on your way home from work"
Today, I read an article about the necessity of mature love to stand the test of time (made me feel better about the notes usually exchanged in this house...about the dog's potty needs, picking up groceries...and yes, even toilet paper! It is the idea that love must move from being a noun to a verb.
- Love as a noun spent all last week wondering what your spouse was going to do for you for Valentine’s Day. Love as a verb spent all last week preparing your expression of love for your spouse.
- Love as a noun feels despair when you no longer feel “in love” with the person you are married to. Love as a verb understands the ebb and flow of feelings. It focuses more on expressing love than feeling love.
- Love as a noun demands its own way. Love as a verb works to understand differences and is open to new ways of doing things.
- Love as a noun finds faults in others. Love as a verb gives grace and forgiveness.
- Love as a noun expects others to serve them. Love as a verb serves freely.
- Love as a noun expects to always feel warm and fuzzy and “in love.” Love as a verb realizes that often we have to choose to love even when we don’t feel like it.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.--1 Corinthians 13
Mike hates Valentine's Day because "it's a fake holiday," but I can see the appeal. I certainly wouldn't turn away a card or flowers! But alas, he is not a romantic...he has yet to remember to get me a Mothers' Day card, so I don't expect flowers on V-Day. ;) I love him all the same.
ReplyDeleteI think this is great. I've been reminded of love as a verb this week as we've had this viral thing in our home. It really wasn't a romantic Valentine's day here as I've been so sick and I awoke this morning to Josh also being sick. But on the other hand, this is sort of romantic. This is the in sickness and in health part of our vows that we promised to each other. It is a lot more difficult to show love when we are both gross and feeling under the weather, but I think it almost means more than when it is easy.
ReplyDeleteThank you for always brining up subjects to make your readers think. I also appreciate you sharing your experiences and being transparent.