“Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action." John 3:18
I'm not sure why it bugged me so much today, but I am tired of reading things in the media like "we'll stay together as long as it works" or "the relationship just ran its course" when people breakup (yes, I read People.com too much). What does that even mean? In my short 6 1/2 years of marriage, even I know that relationships don't always just "work". You've got to work on them.
Recently I came across a devotional that compared relationships to your favorite patchwork quilt. Despite the stains and rips, the quilting stitches remain strong and intact. Like the quilt, each tiny stitch creates and strengthens the fabric of marriage (or any relationship, really). The thoughts we have (like not having a fight in my own head about the dirty clothes left next to the hamper), words we use (finding ways to be encouraging instead of critical) and our actions become the tiny quilt stitches that define my marriage. They are what will bind us together when the seams are pulling apart against all the pressures of life. It is about being intentional with each stitch--even and especially with the small things.
At the end of each day, Mark and I try to find 3 things that we are most appreciative for that day. Often it is the mundane tasks that we normally would take for granted and forget to be grateful for (like laundry, fixing something around the house, making dinner, etc). What small habits do you use and find helpful in your relationship?
Lately, Josh and I will email each other a few times throughout the day. It is nice to let each other know how our days are going while they are going on instead of having to remember when the other person asks at the end of the day. Plus it helps to share things as they are happening during the day.
ReplyDeleteI think we must have read the same article (maybe the one about Ashley Simpson's divorce - haha) cause I had the same thoughts. Chris and I often go back and forth over email throughout the day. He always calls on the way home from picking up Griffin to give me an update on Griffin's day. Lately, we have been making more of an effort to take time for our relationship, not just focusing on Griffin. We recognize it's important that Griffin sees us working together as a team - be in his meals/bath and just regular chores like laundry/cleaning - and having loving moments too. But we also are trying to make more time for just us 2 like after we put him down we might watch a show together or get a sitter and go out for dinner. I think we get so busy sometimes that those things get put on the back burner.
ReplyDeleteWell, we used to enjoy a night out now and then. ;) My mom was keeping Cam overnight occasionally, and we'd get dinner and maybe go bowling or play board games or rent a movie. Just little things, take time to chat and spend some time together without distractions. With a new baby it's near impossible to get out alone, but we do still try to hang out in the evenings...we'll play Yahtzee or watch an OnDemand movie, even our work-outs are nice time together. As Fletcher gets older and we can leave him at bedtime we'll go out to dinner together again, I'm sure...darn kid won't take a bottle, though, so I feel bad leaving him. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea to think of 3 things you're thankful for about the other person at the end of the day! I may try to get Marc to do that with me... Even with three (almost four!) kids, we do try to take time whenever we can. Marc likes to take trips, so we plan one about every other year. Not sure if we'll keep that up after the events of this past weekend. Plus it will get more difficult now that we're adding another child to the mix. But hopefully we'll still try to find a night to go to a hotel in the city or something here and there. It's amazing how much of a difference a few hours of alone time can make!
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